Honesty

I am renewed,
my heart begs for yours, it weeps to be one with yours
When I close my eyes, I see yours
When I smile, I see your smile
If I listen closely, though there is no sound, I hear your voice, your words, your breath, your whispers
When I am alone, I feel your touch, I smell your hair, your skin
I can sense the taste of you lips and even the salt of your tears, even though your are not here
When I am sad, you comfort me, with your thoughts unknowing
This love you have given me, makes ALL other aspects of my life meaningless
A pointless existence otherwise, it is your love and your love alone
That makes me want to go on, to continue in my world of chaos
You are all I have
Your love supplants all other things
Now I struggle to just face another day without you
My happiness will cease without you, we are perhaps different in this respect
I pray for one hour, one day, one night, one week, or the remainder of my life to be yours
And should chance lead to this, my life’s journey will finally have purpose or cause
A means to what is meant to be
Yesterday my world was cloaked in darkness, the total occlusion of light
I was suddenly surrounded in an ugliness that had imprisoned me
But in that very hour, I heard your voice, your words
I felt your love in your magnificent prose
I reached for your hand, though I couldn’t see it
I knew you were there, calling for me, calling out to me
To help me find my way out of the black hole of night, to again find the light
But I could not reach you
I tried so hard to feel the soft touch, or the grasp of your hand
Time after time I tried
And in my fear I worried that I might pull you into my fallen blackness
I cannot, nor will I have that
My love for you, me desire, my want, my yearning, my hopeless need for your love
Will overcome my fear that you may somehow fall victim to this ugliness
It tries to surround me and I feel myself weakening
But I know in my heart of hearts, that my strength will prevail as always
Metaphorically, I must drive the beast back to its cold, dark cave
To be slain once and for all
And when that is finished, you will be mine forever?